We all want to be wanted. It feels good. But any time you have two humans together, there is room for confusion, miscommunication and stress. Gary Chapman has developed a system called the “5 Love Languages” that outline the different ways that people show and receive Love. This has been my favourite way of understanding the emotional interactions in relationships because it is simple, tangible, and has clear ways of improving the quality of our relationship. The 5 Love Languages include: Words of Affirmation (We want to hear them say they care for us), Acts of Service (We like it when they do things to help us out), Physical Touch (We crave physical contact and intimacy), Quality Time (We like to spend time just being with each other) and Receiving Gifts (Big or small, we like gifts). Mr. Chapman has resources available on his website (5LoveLanguages.com) that you and your partner can use to find out what your love language is and many books and resources on how these work and how to use them for your relationship but for our purposes, it is this idea that we show and receive love in different ways that is key. Read more
Leadership is something that we often talk about but what exactly makes someone a leader? And a Good Leader? For those of us who are more shy we may not think about ourselves as a leader, but odds are that there is a Leader in you. 🙂
A Leader is an interesting concept as for someone to be a leader, it will not only involve your personal and/or professional characteristics or your job title or responsibilities, but must also involve the buy-in of others that allows us to influence and guide them towards a common goal. According to Forbes (2013): “Leadership is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.”
We all know that it is good to help others but, aside from the social pressures to assist those in need, there are also surprising benefits to us and the persons around us as we grow from these good deeds. Some of the benefits to look forward to with volunteering and giving back to your community include:
- It Feels Good: when we are feeling sad, down or helpless, helping others helps us to feel more confident that we are able to assist and support others. Volunteering can combat stress and increase happiness through meaningful interactions with others.
- You Get What You Read more
This post builds from my previous one on Fair Fighting but now we look more explicitly at our role in conflicts and social situations in general. As social creatures, humans tend to spend a lot of time interacting with other persons so making sure that we get our point across well is important. By “Well” I mean that we express what we would like in a way that is clear and concise, does not compromise our values or self-respect and is done in a way that builds the relationship by allowing the other person to respond in the most helpful way. If we get more of what we want from a relationship, whatever that may be, eg: love, attention, connections, assistance, then we are more likely to hang around. Likewise, if the other person gets more of what he/she wants then they are more likely to stay around too. This Win-Win situation is established through a communication style known as “Assertiveness.” Read more
Don’t let stress get you down this holiday season. With all of the people, parties, cleaning, prepping and high expectations, it’s no wonder that this time of year can be overwhelming. But with some planning and small changes, you can minimize stress and set yourself up for the best holiday season possible!
- Acknowledge your feelings.If you have lost someone or can’t be with loved ones, realize it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s okay to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
- Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events, such as listening to carollers or looking at Christmas lights. Persons there can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is also a good way to lift your spirits, broaden your friendships and help give someone else a Happy Holiday! Read more